So I revamped the page. After I realized I know absolutely nothing about myself. I wanted to think of myself as an iceberg. I have so much underneath the surface that no one ever sees, not even myself. I have cracks and flaws...ships have run into me. I have pieces missing...from the parts I have lost. I am harsh and cold to touch. I will leave you with a burn. Some venture close but few can handle it. I have hurt many through the guarding of ice around me. I am a mass of coldness just waiting in the still quite water. A mask of tranquility for the quite beast from underneath. Icebergs do not have dreams. They do not think of fairy tales and green fields. In fact, they do not think at all. They are a mindless slab of ice. I do not have dreams. I do not think of fairy tales and green fields. When I think, I am wrong. And this is the abysmal part of me, the evil that lurks beneath the surface. Like a glacier I have drifted away from the one I love.
In response to my last post a dear friend (who I have failed to talk to in awhile), said my true greatness is hidden from view. As sweet as that was, maybe he sees something I do not. When I began this summer I thought my life was going great (That should have been my first clue that things were going wrong. Our lives are not meant to be great). I had gotten a promotion from work, and I thought I was trusting God. I felt Him helping me deal with the moral issues I was having at work. Everything was going well. Within the last semester I noticed that when I was away from Salem (my beloved cat and first child), I missed him dearly almost to the point of desperation. I would need to rush home and see him every time I was away for an extended period of time. At this point I could not even fathom him leaving me without bursting into tears. Through all this I am trying to get to the point that I thought I could not live without him. My engagement to Nathan would have been fine and ...
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If she thinks God has a plan then she may be ready to her about how Jesus fits into it!