Tristan and Christ
First, Tristan had his first ear dr. appointment today. Never wanted to see this happen, but he is in the hands of the best. Chronic ear infections suck for a baby and he should not have to go through it. I am starting to see what my parents went through. His crying hurt, but I know it did not hurt me as much as it hurt his parents. He may have tubes put in soon, which are not a big deal, but we want what is best for him.
Second, I decided to go through my journal today and go over some stuff that struck me before. On Feb. 02 I was watching the Chronicles of Narnia special features. One of them was about Lewis and I ended writing some things down that stuck with me. Someone said this about Lewis,
"I guess that he had always found the church itself disappointing after that (his conversion). It was some how small-minded compared to the magnificent vision he had of the love of God and sometimes the church gets stuck with its smaller version of God. But he certainly felt it was his duty to go."
This struck me as how I felt about church and I am beginning to see it played out in my life. It is pretty self explanatory so I will not bore you with the details.
"Careful! This might lead to suffering." I don't know where this is from but it IS from the video. I have a problem trusting God and loving Him; ere go I have a problem trusting and loving people. It is more of an all encompassing fact that I don't let anyone to close. Needless to say I don't know why. There is no psychological reason for it. Nothing happened to me; it is just a sin I struggle with. This quote may explain a little part of it though. I am scared of having any huge suffering in my life. Why would I choose to get close to anyone who would let me down? And that is exactly what it is about...me. I think of all the people I could have spoken to about Christ and didn't because I was too scared to open myself up to them. Another quote is, "I could die for you, but not suffer for you." Only Christ can do that. I have always said that I would give my life for a complete stranger, and it goes without saying my family and friends, but I cannot suffer for them. This is a gift from Christ. He is everything.
jess
Second, I decided to go through my journal today and go over some stuff that struck me before. On Feb. 02 I was watching the Chronicles of Narnia special features. One of them was about Lewis and I ended writing some things down that stuck with me. Someone said this about Lewis,
"I guess that he had always found the church itself disappointing after that (his conversion). It was some how small-minded compared to the magnificent vision he had of the love of God and sometimes the church gets stuck with its smaller version of God. But he certainly felt it was his duty to go."
This struck me as how I felt about church and I am beginning to see it played out in my life. It is pretty self explanatory so I will not bore you with the details.
"Careful! This might lead to suffering." I don't know where this is from but it IS from the video. I have a problem trusting God and loving Him; ere go I have a problem trusting and loving people. It is more of an all encompassing fact that I don't let anyone to close. Needless to say I don't know why. There is no psychological reason for it. Nothing happened to me; it is just a sin I struggle with. This quote may explain a little part of it though. I am scared of having any huge suffering in my life. Why would I choose to get close to anyone who would let me down? And that is exactly what it is about...me. I think of all the people I could have spoken to about Christ and didn't because I was too scared to open myself up to them. Another quote is, "I could die for you, but not suffer for you." Only Christ can do that. I have always said that I would give my life for a complete stranger, and it goes without saying my family and friends, but I cannot suffer for them. This is a gift from Christ. He is everything.
jess
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