Thoughts on Jesus and Life

So I was cleaning the Bathroom sink today and had the wind knocked out of me. God spoke so clearly. It started last night at about 2:30 or 3:00. I was reading late into the night, Francine Rivers again. In this book, a widower is contending with a non-believer and slowly falling in love with him. I know it sounds totally cheesy but it is much more than that. Anyway, she is struggling because she is confused about her emotions. She says her love for her first husband was sweet and he showed her who God was and now she has this on fire passionate feeling toward this other man. My heart stopped and my heart cried out to God (Nathan was asleep next to me, so I really couldn't scream like I wanted to). These same thoughts plague me. Nathan is my sweetness. He has shown me so much of God's love and forgiveness. I was crying out to God for Him to not take Nathan from me because our love was not passionate. And then God asked me why He can't be my passionate love affair...

So I was reading Daniel earlier today, specifically about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Most know their story but if you don't here's the gist. These three wouldn't bow down before Nebuchadnezzar's idol, so they were thrown into a furnace. An angel appears to walk with them inside of the furnace. The king lets them out and everyone is praising God. Pretty simple until I started to really look at it. When the three men were brought before the king because they would not worship the idol he threatened them about the fire. Their response was "go ahead". Even if God didn't move they still said they wouldn't bow down to the false idols. What a faith they must have had! Not only to go in there willingly but also to go in without knowing whether God would deliver them. I want to think they were sure they were going to die. They were ready. And God did protect them, he sent an angel down to walk with them. They were delivered out of the furnace ...

God really worked today while I was at Hastings. He gave me the strength to love so many people today and for some to love me back! I love it! And I was just bursting at the seams to talk about Jesus! Can't wait till tomorrow! Jess

I have read my blogs again to see God working in my life. While at Crichton surrounded by all my Christian friends I was truly happy. Then Salem died and I got married. I shut myself off, and Nathan was not the cause. I am sorry for this. I feel like I have had a great renewing of my spirit in the past week. So much has happened. I just finished the second book in the Mark of Lion series, and it is also fantastic. My mom will start reading them soon and if you guys can pray for her salvation I would really appreciate it. She is everything to me. I also took a spritual gift test again (my third, the other two were taken in high school and college). I felt God kept putting in circumstances where we were asked to take it. My top 3 included shepherding, exhortation and....PROPHECY! Prophecy is being screamed at you because it is actually my gift. I got full marks in it and the other two are just side notes. After going through my blog I realized how much of my life has been ce...

So I never wanted to touch a Francine Rivers book because she was so popular with Redeeming Love, which I thought was just another Christian Romance, but I will not go into the different genres of Christian Fiction. My mom LOVED this book and I may need to point out she is not a Christian. I finally decided to give Rivers a shot with her Mark of the Lion series. I recently finished the first one, all of about 500 pages of it in under 3 or 4 days. It was FANTASTIC!!!! If you have never read this book give it a shot. It is set just after Jerusalem's fall by the Romans, and follows a Christian slave and her relationships with the family she serves. I have never been touched by literature this much before. Actually you don't have a choice in the matter, READ IT!! AND there are two sequels! The other wonderful thing about this book is I now have a wonderment of the Old Testament that I have never had before. I am currently reading Daniel which I have never read before and...

So we, Nathan and I, are going to a class on Wednesday nights. Not a class really, but it is now becoming more of a fellowship which is AWESOME! We are going through a video about the Book Uprising by Erwin McManus. Being the dork I am I bought the book and reading it. God has done alot with it, speaking to me about things that I thought I was getting past. For any one who knows me, like REALLY knows me, my attitude is THE sin for me. I read a chapter yesterday that was talking about how our attitude is a reflection of our pride. So, I knew I was sometimes stuck-up and it was always about me, but yeah...it is worse than that. God did that whole harden my heart thing yesterday. Yeah, I messed up. We will leave it at that. The great thing is I feel His forgiveness, but everything is not perfect and I am dealing with my consequence. I also have began to mentor someone. Her name is Katherine and I feel she has so much to teach me instead of the other way around. We are about ...

Reading 1 Thessalonians, about to call the vet because Kara keeps hacking. Amazing news, we calculated 2 nights ago that my loan will be paid off next year!!!! SO EXCITED!!!! I also got to see Apryl for about 5 minutes on Saturday which was nice. Hopefully I will see her soon. I got up an hour earlier than I was supposed to so I am tired... Jess

First, Tristan had his first ear dr. appointment today. Never wanted to see this happen, but he is in the hands of the best. Chronic ear infections suck for a baby and he should not have to go through it. I am starting to see what my parents went through. His crying hurt, but I know it did not hurt me as much as it hurt his parents. He may have tubes put in soon, which are not a big deal, but we want what is best for him. Second, I decided to go through my journal today and go over some stuff that struck me before. On Feb. 02 I was watching the Chronicles of Narnia special features. One of them was about Lewis and I ended writing some things down that stuck with me. Someone said this about Lewis, "I guess that he had always found the church itself disappointing after that (his conversion). It was some how small-minded compared to the magnificent vision he had of the love of God and sometimes the church gets stuck with its smaller version of God. But he certainly felt it ...

Today I just wanted to pay homage to Charles (Chuck) Colson. I am sending Colson my first book that I ever read by him and he is going to sign it. LOVE IT!!! Nathan and I recently went to the Goodwill bookstore, it is near P.F. Changs at Ridgeway and Park and I added about 3 more books to my Colson section, which brings it to about 7 or 8! His secretary told me that his new book, The Faith, is one that is a culmination of his life work. Personally I have given my copy away and bought another for someone else. I actually need to buy another copy! He truly has an honesty about him that is unique. He is helping head up something called the Manhattan Declaration and if you guys haven't checked it out you should! http://www.manhattandeclaration.org/home.aspx Love you guys, Jess

I figured I would change things and quit trying to be so dramatic. This is who I am. Christian, Wife and Book Manager. That is all and I am completely content with that. Jess

I found out today that my pastor has a blog which is pretty sweet, although he doesn't blog much which kind of stinks. Nathan and I started going to Bartlett Baptist Church, BBC, in January. Me going to a Baptist church is a little incomprehensible, if you know me. Nathan was raised in a Baptist church. All of this should have been a sign to me that I would end up in a Baptist church one day. I have always felt that Baptist churches were fluffy with their theology, regardless what their doctrine and theology say, the preaching has always been soft to me. BBC is completely different. Our pastor, Brother Michael Priest, is a God-fearing man who speaks about God's word from God's word. I have never heard so much Biblical truth in my life come from a pastor. So the preaching was great for us, but this does not make a good church. The music and Sunday school on the other hand, AWFUL! (let me clarify, to me it was this way) This was my opinion to begin with. You see Bap...

Sin is astounding to me; how it can wreck someones life. Why is it say painfully obvious to me to look at the people I love and see their sin written all over the face and in every one of their reactions and comments? Then I look at mine and I feel so blessed that God has called me his own. I am confused as to whether accept their sin and still speak with them about Jesus or refute it and push them away. The answer will come to me in time. God does not let my thoughts just linger. When do I dust my feet off and move on? When am I called to stay somewhere? The verse about working out your "salvation with trembling and fear" (Phil. 2:12) pops to mind. Being a manager of people is hard. I want to love them and forgive always, but I also have a responsibility to my job. What kind of Christian turns their back on responsibility? I would like to take the easier (at least to me) road and work at a Christian establishment, but my dad says he believes I am called to do the j...