Thoughts on Jesus and Life

So I found a great song to go with life right now. And yes...it is totally CAMP ROCK! For culturally impaired people (or grownups), that means Disney. :) I am so not an adult sometimes. I want to preface by saying God is the ultimate healer, life giver and protector. This Is Me I've always been the kind of girl That hid my face So afraid to tell the world What I've got to say But I have this dream Right inside of me I'm going to let it show It's time To let you know To let you know This is the real, this is me I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now Gonna let the light Shine on me Now I found Who I am There's no way to hold it in No more hiding who I want to be This is me Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark To dream about a life where you're the shining star Even though it seems Like it's to far away I have to believe in myself It's the only way This is the real, this is me I'm exactly wher...

"My dad once said at the table that he had to put his cat to sleep and I wanted to scream, because how dare he take that decision away from me. It was my burden." I wrote that in my last blog and it reminded me of Christ. How dare we claim the absolution of our sins, when Christ died for them. When we do something right, for once in our wretched lives, it is Christ, not us, who does it. My sin, my screwups, my "Fall" is Christ's burden, and how dare I take credit for it? How dare I? I can imagine him turning over tables at my sadness and pride. "I know why the lowest pit of Hell Is ice: Life is in motion; If you are frozen, what good are you? You are dead, and good for nothing; Good only to be cast out, And trodden under the feet of men." - Jon How dare I remain an iceberg? My greatness is there for the world to see. It is God! It is there in blood stained hands and feet, organs falling in a limp body and a last cry of help. O God, let me be on...

In response to my last post a dear friend (who I have failed to talk to in awhile), said my true greatness is hidden from view. As sweet as that was, maybe he sees something I do not. When I began this summer I thought my life was going great (That should have been my first clue that things were going wrong. Our lives are not meant to be great). I had gotten a promotion from work, and I thought I was trusting God. I felt Him helping me deal with the moral issues I was having at work. Everything was going well. Within the last semester I noticed that when I was away from Salem (my beloved cat and first child), I missed him dearly almost to the point of desperation. I would need to rush home and see him every time I was away for an extended period of time. At this point I could not even fathom him leaving me without bursting into tears. Through all this I am trying to get to the point that I thought I could not live without him. My engagement to Nathan would have been fine and ...